Split’s Best (and Worst) Attractions You Should Know, Split, Croatia

Dear fellow traveler, if you’re looking for yet another delightful “Top 10 Things to do in Split list,” you have opened the wrong page. For starters, you will notice - if you have any talent for counting at all - that this list does not contain ten items. A list of ten would suggest a sense of completeness and order that simply does not exist in this wretched world. These recommendations are culled from my own harrowing experiences, though I have included a few locations I have not yet visited, solely because I have heard whispers of their greatness and feel a desperate, perhaps foolish, urge to see them for myself before something goes horribly wrong.

I must caution you: while the tone of this guide is somewhat grim, the logistical information contained within is - most distressingly - entirely accurate. I have meticulously recorded prices and logistical advice with a level of accuracy that is frankly exhausting. Every detail was correct at the time this document was published, though in a world as unstable as ours, accurate is a word that should always be whispered with a note of caution. You may use this information to plan your journey with terrifying efficiency, though why you would want to arrive at your destination any sooner is a mystery that I have no desire to solve. ...... (follow the instructions below for accessing the rest of this article).