Las Vegas for People Who Hate Las Vegas, Las Vegas, Nevada

Though I’ve been a couple of times, I really truly don’t like Las Vegas. I don’t really gamble. I certainly don’t fuck prostitutes. And after one good night of drinking, I’m down for the count for the rest of the weekend. So how can you enjoy Las Vegas if you kind of hate Las Vegas? Don’t want to stand in line, pay $50 cover, and see some DJ in a space that’s so crowded it’s dangerously close to being a fire hazard? Don’t want to blow $500 on slot machines? Don’t want to reenact The Hangover? Here are a few ways to spend a trip in Vegas that’s actually enjoyable and not too exhausting.

One good thing about Vegas is that their brunch buffets are lit. And who doesn’t like brunch? My suggestion is to go all out at the Bellagio. Their brunch has all the traditional breakfast favorites like waffles and eggs, along with prime rib, sushi, lobster, etc. It sounds like a lot, but you’ll need it when you’re sucking down those bottomless mimosas. Getting good and drunk early on will help you let loose and enjoy the endless parade of bachelor parties and hooker flyers littering the sidewalks.

After you’re good and hammered, take a walk out into the harsh light of day. You’ll already be by the Bellagio fountain, which starts going off every half hour in the afternoon and every 15 minutes in the evening until midnight. Like any fountain show, it’s okay if you’re sober. But if you’ve had a dozen mimosas, it’s pretty incredible. Other nearby shows like the volcano eruption outside the Mirage are also free. Sadly, the Treasure Island pirate show has been permanently closed. ...... (follow the instructions below for accessing the rest of this article).